Die Another Day (2002)

Hmmmmm.....

Should I even waste my time reviewing this?

I just wasted over two hours of my life watching it. I should probably do something.

So, if I'm gonna review this, let's get it over with.

Hello FILMCLUB. Today - I've got a VERY special review for you indeed. As I take a look at one of the worst action movies of all time and hands down one of the worst movies I have ever seen, Die Another Day.

Now, when it comes to movies that are considered the worst, I haven't really seen these movies. I have heard of bad superhero movies like Supergirl and the Joel Shumaccer Batman films, the young-adult adaptations like Twilight and Divergent, but I haven't really seen them.

But I have actually seen a few myself. The two ones that spring are the 2013 sci-fi movie Ender's Game and the 2012 animated sequel, Ice Age 4.

Why won't that franchise die?

Those two movies were pretty much tied for the worst movies that I have ever seen.

But then, everything changed when I encountered Die Another Day.

So, this review will be split into three sections cause with this film, I cannot talk about things randomly. It's kind of like what I did with my Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes review.

Right, let's kick things off with -

The Story:

You know when you watch a movie and you wish the writers were sober when working on it? You'll

be thinking this here.

This entire movie is a huge mess of random plot points that are too far-fetched to be taken seriously and therefore do not belong in a spy movie.

In fact, if these villains want to keep themselves undercover, they're in fact making the public more conspicuous!

We have ice palaces, lasers, DNA reconstruction and a satellite that can harness the sun's energy.!

I mean, REALLY?

Also, there are far too many characters, making the movie crammed and become muddled.

I cannot believe how far-fetched the story for this film is. Even Roger Moore would say that this is stupid, and he was the Bond who will be forever known for the submarine car, going into space, riding a gondola through Venice, and throwing a compressed gas pellet down a villain's throat!

Story: 2/10

The Look Of The Movie:

There's a part of me who, because it's a Bond movie, doesn't want to hate the look of this movie, but to be honest, the settings in which the characters go to are just so generic and overutilised.

We have stuff like plain icy Korea and the generic beach town during the first half-hour of this movie. To be honest, they're the only two settings in this movie apart from the MI6 office.

And I can't go onto the characters without mentioning the appalling visual effects.

It looks fake and during the windsurfing scene -

Yes, the concept is totally stupid and is one of the worst action scenes ever made, but Brosnan looks like he's made of rubber. It is atrocious!

Look: 3.5/10

The Characters:

OK, let's see. We've got a far-fetched and messy story, generic settings and fake visuals. What are we missing?

Oh yeah, characters that make the viewing experience really painful!

Seriously, the characters are hands-down the worst aspect of this movie.

Let's look at the cardboard cutout sex symbols. Jinx Johnson (played by Halle Berry) and Miranda Frost (played by Rosamund Pike) have absolutely nothing to them and their only purpose is to be dumb sex symbols.

Here come the worst part: the villains.

I give you: Gustav Graves, Zaal and Mr Kill.

This ensemble of villains are all equally panto-esque and dumb with insane, far-fetched motives.

It doesn't help when the characters say the most unbearable dialogue like 'Sex for dinner, death for breakfast.'

The story is one thing. But the characters seriously bring the grade of this movie down. A lot.

Characters: 1/10

I have been reviewing films for nearly a year-and-a-half and never did I think that someone would be able to display something insufferable in ever single aspect of the movie and release it on the big screen.

And then came Die Another Day.

Die Another Day is quite possibly one of the worst movies to ever be released in cinemas.

The writing is abysmal, the settings are generic, the characters are unbearable and the gadgets are way too far-fetched!

I have never been more angry with a movie in my entire life. This film is a disgrace to the film industry and it should know it.

And, before you guys ask, yes it gets a big fat F, that's an easy give!

And if you don't believe me, or what every other internet reviewer says about this abomination -

Ha. See it for yourself then.

To be honest, after watching this, I just want to watch a good Bond movie. And that's exactly what I'm going to do. The next review will be for Antman, I'm very excited for you guys to see that, and until that review, see ya later!

P.S - Hand me every single copy of Die Another Day so I can send it into the sun. Thanks.