Norm of the North (2016)

I bet you didn't see this being before Isle Of Dogs, but sadly i have to review "this", film due to a coin flip, seems stupid? yeah i would have said the same thing, but i will say the Isle Of Dogs is gonna be my next review and yeah... this is gonna stink big time isn't it. Lets find out...

Story: I wouldn't say that it has a story to tell but rather a message... an environmental message... an intolerably hammered down environmental message, the whole purpose of this film is to explain to the audience that they have to "Save the Arctic" with some anti-industrialism thrown in that we don't go taking these animals homes in order to make some for us, why would we want a house in the Arctic? i have no clue the movie doesn't even bother to answer. It results in the movie to be so preachy that it completely treats the audience like total idiots, thinking that they always need a reminder every 10 minutes of Norm's goal, or maybe that's just the characters explaining it to themselves because they can be so stupid that they can highly possible they can end up forgetting it, that actually makes a lot of sense. But in order to keep the movie going it fills itself with 3 things that make the movie even more insufferable. First is a giant pile of plot cliches that make the movie completely predictable from top to bottom, second is action scenes that go absolutely nowhere and are entirely pointless and third are a bunch of bottom-of-the-barrel gags that wouldn't be just your typical average gas humor, you have NO idea how low this movie can sink just to get a cheap dumb laugh. And let's not forget about Norm doing the arctic shake, yeah that will totally make you be like the cool kids, oh Norm, your non-stop of use dumb pop songs, cellphone gags and random movie references completely blind me with all the tremendous swag. Seriously did any of the writers or even the directer at least care! I've NEVER seen a story so broken by its obnoxious message and unpleasant humor, BUT HEY I GUESS NON OF THIS MATTERS AS THE ARCTICS OK RIGHT!?

Animation: Its the animation that makes everyone look at this and think how is this at least possible for a movie like this to get into theaters, this more like your typical 1 pound directed DVD film, not in a animated feature that in able to get into theaters, not only is this unpleasant to look at as much as sitting through their failed attempts to make something that would refer to as humor, but its just ugly, and this can not be more obvious than in the design of the characters, was it too hard or expensive to hire a professional artist to draw good-looking characters every human character looks like a bad caricature and the animals look even worse where the humans look like they were made by an amateur with no artistic background the animal look like they were made by a toddler, and with the addition of bad looking textures it makes it look unwatchable, i never thought would have to do it again but i had to look away at certain part just to continue the movie, just something i thought only Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 would be capable of doing to me, but you know what, at least with that film i can point to a few elements that the animators did a good job like in the food animation and the food animals, with Norm though? there are no redeemable qualities in the visuals whatsoever, even the backgrounds look so generic like the plain white arctic or the generic city that is suppose to be New York City, but if i will give one credit to the animation is that at least there's some talent in the character animation especially on the lemmings, but even at that, the rendering came out so bad that all their movements came out so unnatural, its even worse when some characters want to move in such a cartoonish over the top manner that it makes it unbearable to watch. I've seen movies that have had repulsive visuals before, but the animation here, it seriously takes it to a whole new level.

Characters: So that we've got the obnoxious and unwatchable parts out of the way, let's bring in the characters to present another aspect of this movie, it is absolutely stupid... In fact every character in here has very little sense of intelligence or even a sense a character in general, every single one is a bland one-dimensional trope that would only stick out by the dumb decisions they would make, starting with Norm himself, he's the protagonist that wants to "Save the Arctic", and has other traits that the movie forgot to explain or completely have no point, why is he able to talk to humans? Why is it to know about his love interest or that he's next in line to become the king of the Arctic? Who knows because the movie clearly doesn't, but i will say that the voice acting for the character brilliantly voiced by Rob Schneider. But now let's talk about these terrible excuse of comic reliefs that they call the lemmings who are obviously minion rip-offs, all they do is try to be the minions but there not the minions because they have absolutely no sense of quality in their humor, this is why i wish this was a disney movie, so we can just put them out of their misery and just THROUGH THEM OFF A CLIFF, and then there's Mr. Green, the villain that rather wants to be so over the top with his movements and have no logical motive to make houses in the Arctic then to be an actual character, oh hey there Chester V never thought i'd see you again, as for everyone else, they have no purpose in this movie like absolutely none at all, they can just all disappear and no one would ever notice and the film would be the same or better be shorter, there no point to either name them, the rest of the generic cast are only there to make bad jokes or to remind norm to "Save the Arctic". But believe it or not, do you know who's the most hated and dumbest character in this? ALL THE EXTRAS AROUND NORM, somehow New York City is filled with the most brain-dead people that sees Norm as a guy in a suit or an actual talking bear and they are cool with it, its even worse when they'll just believe in anything that's said to them and are so easily amused by the big, dumb, dancing polar bear. Making your characters completely bland and serve no purpose is one thing, but the addition to throw away any sign of intelligence in them makes them even worse that they already are.

Norm of the North is possibly the worst animated movie to come out into theaters worldwide. The writing is abysmal, the environmental message is obnoxious, the story is predictably unpleasant, the animation is disgusting, the humor is at its worst and the characters either have no brain or no purpose. In know for a fact that a don't even have to say to you to not watch it, because anybody with some sort of intelligence wouldn't even tolerate just 10 mins of this embarrassment, and if there's any moronic lunatic that would even attempt to defend this with thee "It's just for kids" excuse may i ask "who are you talking about, kids of IQ 5 and under", any child would look at this and say that its stupid. I've never been so confident to give the movie the seal of garbage, why would anyone think its a good idea to put this in theaters will ALWAYS be a mystery, but the one thing we know is that Norm will forever find a place as one of the worst animated films of all time.

Story: 1/10

Animation: 2/10

Characters: 2/10

Overall: 2/10, 5/30, 1/5.